# Funny Short Math Jokes and Puns, Math is Fun!

Updated: Oct 25, 2019

A mathematical joke is a form of humor which relies on aspects of mathematics or a stereotype of mathematicians to derive humor. The humor may come from a pun, or from a double meaning of a mathematical term, or from a lay person's misunderstanding of a mathematical concept.

Instead of good-bye we say Calc-U-later

Why should you not mix alcohol and calculus? Because you should never drink and

.*derive*Write the expression for the volume of a thick crust pizza with height "a" and radius "z". The formula for volume is π·(radius)**2·(height). In this case,

**pi·z·z·a.**How do you make seven even? Just remove the “

”*s.*

Q: What is a proof?

A: One-half percent of alcohol.

Q: What is gray and huge and has integer coefficients?

A: An elephantine equation.

Q: Why do truncated Maclaurin series fit the original function so well?

A: Because they are “Taylor” made.

Q: What is gray and huge and has integer coefficients?

A: An elephantine equation.

Q: What’s a polar bear?

A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

Q: What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

A: You can’t cross a vector with a scalar.

**Theorem**. 3=4.

**Proof**. Suppose a + b = c

This can also be written as: 4a − 3a + 4b − 3b = 4c − 3c

After reorganizing: 4a + 4b − 4c = 3a + 3b − 3c

Take the constants out of the brackets: 4(a + b − c) = 3(a + b − c)

Remove the same term left and right:

4=3

A mathematician and an engineer are on a desert island. They find two palm trees with one coconut each. The engineer shinnies up one tree, gets the coconut, and eats it. The mathematician shinnies up the other tree, gets the coconut, climbs the other tree and puts it there. “* Now we’ve reduced it to a problem we know how to solve.*”

There are a mathematician and a physicist and a burning building with people inside. There are a fire hydrant and a hose on the sidewalk. The physicist has to put the fire out…so, he attaches the hose to the hydrant, puts the fire out, and saves the house and the family. Then they put the people back in the house, set it on fire, and ask the mathematician to solve the problem. So, he takes the hose off the hydrant and lays it on the sidewalk. “** Now I’ve reduced it to a previously solved problem**” and walks away.

Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. One of the three men says, “I’ve got an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far.” So he leans over the basket and yells out, “Helloooooo! Where are we?” (They hear the echo several times.) Fifteen minutes later, they hear this echoing voice: “Hellooooo! You’re lost!!” One of the men says, “That must have been a mathematician.” Puzzled, one of the other men asks, “Why do you say that?” The reply: “* For three reasons: (1) He took a long time to answer, (2) he was absolutely correct, and (3) his answer was absolutely useless.*”

Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have a beer." The second says, "I'll have half a beer." The third says, "I'll have a quarter of a beer." Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them. "Come on, now,” he says to the group, “You guys have got to learn your * limits*.”

Scientists caught a physicist and a mathematician and locked them in separate rooms so both could not interact with each other. They started studying their behavior. The two were assigned a task to remove a hammered nail from inside the wall. The only tools they had were a hammer and a nail-drawer. After some muscular effort, both solved the tasks similarly by using the nail-drawer. Then there was a second task, to remove the nail that was barely touching the wall with its sharp end. The physicist simply took the nail with his hand. The mathematician hammered the nail inside the wall with full force and proudly announced: *the problem has been reduced to the previous one!*

A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time. Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake.

When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment:

"* 1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that...*"

Sherlock Holmes and Watson travel on a balloon. They were hidden in clouds, so they didn’t know which country they flew above. Finally they saw a guy below between clouds, so they asked.

“Hey, you know where we are?” “Yes” “Where?” “In a balloon”.

And the guy was hidden by clouds again.

Watson:”Goddamn, what a stupid idiot!”

Holmes:”No my friend, he’s a mathematician”.

Watson:”How can you know that, Holmes?”

Holmes:”Elementary, my dear Watson. He responded with an ** absolutely correct and absolutely useless **answer”.

My girlfriend is the square root of -100. She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.

How do mathematicians scold their children? "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."

What’s the best way to woo a math teacher? Use acute angle.

What do you call a number that can't keep still? A roamin' numeral.

Take a positive integer N. No wait, N is too big; take a positive integer k.

A farmer counted 196 cows in the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 200.

Why should you never argue with decimals? Because decimals always have a point.

When someone once asked Professor Eilenberg if he could eat Chinese food with three chopsticks, he answered, "Of course," according to Professor Morgan.

How are you going to do it?

I'll take the three chopsticks, I'll put one of them aside on the table, and * I'll use the other two*.

A statistics professor is going through security at the airport when they discover a bomb in his carry-on. The TSA officer is livid. "I don't understand why you'd want to kill so many innocent people!" The professor laughs and explains that he never wanted to blow up the plane; in fact, he was trying to save them all. "So then why did you bring a bomb?!" The professor explains that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000, which is quite high if you think about it, and statistically relevant enough to prevent him from being able to fly stress-free. "So what does that have to do with you packing a bomb?" the TSA officer wants to know, so the professor explains. "You see, if there's 1/1000 probability of a bomb being on my plane, the chance that there are two bombs is 1/1000000. So if I bring a bomb, the chance there is another bomb is only 1/1000000, so we are all much safer."